Boot Camp/ Airing Out Our Dirty Laundry

Well, I've known you have to be careful with what you say but little did I know that almost as soon as I finished my last post with saying God has gotten us back in the game did we got knocked down again! It was more like we got up to the batter's box and got nailed in the face with a pitch and then while trying to recover and start practicing again, we get hit in the nose. It has been constant!

I have not been one that used to see the devil behind every tree but I am telling you that with every provision, miracle, and blessing that God has given, Satan has been lurking and ready to pounce to try and steal our joy and literally trying to destroy everything about us. While I feel we are growing and learning on this journey, I also have seen that once we seem to get a grip with the spiritual warfare Satan changes up his game plan.

This past week has literally left me physically feeling like I have been through boot camp. For the places that utilize it, sleep deprivation is definitely a form of torture...:) and our children's newborn days were like a walk in the park compared to what I've experienced lately.

Tuesday evening (the day Ms. Reenie and Ms. Helen came over to bring us such a generous gift, per the post below) Landon went from being his cheerful self to suddenly feeling so hot to the touch and he had a fever close to 102. That night he slept about 1 hour if you added up all the little gaps of sleep. He is such a laid back baby and just doesn't make a fuss over anything. However, when he is cranky you know something is up. I took him to his doctor to find out he had an ear infection and a bad cold. While I obviously don't like for our kids to get sick, I always like it when there is a quick fix with an antibiotic that will have them feeling better within a day. Not in this case. He continued to get worse on Thursday and there was just no rest for the weary. He was crying in pain and so congested and wheezing. Naturally, I took him back in and found out that he now had a double ear infection and bronchilitis so the doctor changed up his antibiotic and gave him a steroid shot and now we are continuing the steroids and breathing treatments. He just got over bronchilitis from RSV a few weeks back and now this is his 3rd infection with this virus just in his 5 months of life so it looks like he will also have asthma like Grant.



Well, at least we know what to expect and how to deal with it. He continues to get slowly better and the nights resemble the newborn days where instead of getting up to feed him, he is receiving breathing treatments. In the midst of this, Grant is also dealing with this but not to the same degree so he is also receiving breathing treatments. In the midst of all of this, one night just as I was getting Landon settled back to sleep, Peyton woke up from coughing so it has just been one of those weeks where you just feel crazy from no sleep. I would normally just think this was just unlucky and one of those weeks that you would rather just put behind you but the fact that this all suddenly came on just hours after we had such a provision from God is nothing more than Satan's timing with trying to wear us down and an attempt to prevent us from being excited and praising God for His provision.

Last night (Saturday) was the first night where I felt somewhat rested after getting to bed at 4 a.m. and I thought I was ready to face the day until we woke up to Peyton having wet his bed even though he was wearing a pull up followed by two toilets that somehow got clogged and one that suddenly overflowed. Now, this had absolutely nothing to do with fiber in our family's diet! :) This had nothing to do with too much toilet paper. As I have said before, there are times where there is no explanation to some of the things that happen to us and today was no exception. Peyton went to flush the toilet and water just started pouring out in the floor and there is no reason that this should have happened. So, instead of having a relaxing day, Vince is acting as HAZMAT in the bathroom and adding to our already overflowing laundry with the towels we used to soak up the floor. This was all followed by Peyton wetting his pants (which he hasn't done since first being potty trained) in the midst of us getting the bathroom cleaned so we get out of the lake to go clean up another one. What was originally going to be a family day turned into being a cross between the HAZMAT team and Mr. Fix-it!

Now I am going to do something that I thought I would never do and that is actually let you in to see our current laundry situation. NEVER in all my life have I seen laundry like this in our house but I have just been in survival mode this past week so while the kids are in bed and I am waiting for the dryer to go off, I am giving you a glimpse into our world. Maybe in some way it will give you a good laugh....

You can't tell from this picture how bad it is but these are three bags filled to the brim and the clothes were falling over on the floor because it was so top heavy not to mention the tower of towels that you can't see behind the door and Peyton's wet sheets that had not even been brought into the laundry room plus all the towels used to soak up the overflowing toilet. I completed at least 10 loads of laundry and that is having one of the big front loading washing machines that can hold more than a standard one.




What I am learning in our journey is Satan makes so many of us buy into the lie that what we are dealing with is only happening to us. While every situation and family is unique, there are many people out there falling victim to Satan trying to destroy them and one way he is doing it is through making people feel isolated and alone. We see people and families on the outside look so put together and everything appears to be perfect when on the inside things could very well be falling apart and nobody even has a clue. While I believe that some things are private matters and need to be dealt with accordingly, there are a lot of things that people are afraid to talk about because they think they are alone, so they fight the battle alone when God never intended it to be that way.

It was funny because I was just thinking today how life with three kids four years old and under is so much fun for Vince and I and we were even talking about how much we love our life with them when the craziness of the day really got kicked off. I know I have said on numerous occasions that I wish my greatest challenge was just having three young children because life would be just wonderful. What I am finding is that I can fight tooth and nail to avoid the challenges we have faced and will face but in the end, so much of it is beyond my control. As a result, I need to find a way to make the most of each day and enjoy the things that are going right instead of all the things that may be crashing down around me. While I would love for the spiritual warfare to let up, it may not. If I am always waiting for it to stop, I will never truly live. I don't want to get to the end of my life and have that realization that I was always in survival mode and didn't find the time to have fun in the midst of dodging the fireballs that Satan would throw our way. I am finding it really is a matter of PERSPECTIVE.

When I think of Paul and Silas in prison worshiping and singing praises to God after being beaten for sharing the gospel, I am challenged for so many reasons. However, one that really sticks out in my mind, is that they didn't just try to get through that trial in their lives. They didn't spend time licking their wounds and focusing on their physical pain. They found the strength that can only come from God to sing in spite of their pain and as a result miracles followed and lives were changed. I know for me this past week, I was just in survival mode. I wasn't angry at God nor did I really stay down because I was honestly just too tired to even think. What I learned that even in the midst of the physical exhaustion, I need to worship God. Sometimes we may not FEEL like worshipping God but when we make ourselves by finding at least one thing to praise God for (and there are so many no matter what situation you are in)all of a sudden our perspective begins to shift from our problem and onto God. Suddenly, one thing that we are praising God for turns into multiple things and we have a renewed sense of strength, even physical strength. Satan loves to keep our eyes focused on the problem and literally just deplete you of all your energy, but when we worship, our eyes are re-shifted and begin to focus on God, and it is then that we have unexplained strength.

For me personally, I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who loves me in spite of all my MANY flaws and supports and encourages me. I have also been blessed with three great sons and I find myself thinking so many times how wonderful they are. Just today (Sunday) Grant came in to my closet when I was putting away one of the many loads of laundry and asked if he could help because he said he loves to help me. Believe it or not, this was not even prompted. It was just a pure and sweet moment that showed me how blessed I am by this little boy, a four year old that would stop playing in his room to come help me with laundry of all things. Really at the end of the day, am I not one of the richest people that I have them in my life? So while we have no income and are poor as dirt and we could possibly one day be foreclosed on, I just feel so blessed. Satan will continue changing up his tactics and while I used to not want to give Satan too much credit, I am finding more and more that he is relentless and while I can hardly catch my breath before something else happens that he throws at me, God is giving me strength that I can not explain and He has given me such a wonderful family that can unite no matter how much Satan will TRY to destroy us.

So, while my struggle is major spiritual warfare, others may have a completely different set of circumstances. Regardless of what it is, we are not alone. God sees and His Son has experienced it all so cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you!! I've also learned to not let pride keep you from sharing what you are going through because only then can you be helped and then God will turn around and let your challenges be a testimony to someone else because you came out on the other side stronger. While I used to be much more of a private person, I feel that I need to be more open in order for others to see our struggles on the journey and how powerful God is to help us and send others our way to do the same.

While there are so many other people out there who have experienced far worse than we can fathom, I do believe that much of the craziness and freak things that we have and keep experiencing is Satan trying to wear us down but I believe God is allowing us to go through what we have so we can know firsthand what His strength is like. We will also not be able to minister to others until we have been broken ourselves and then take what we have learned in the midst of the fire and use it to encourage others as God opens the doors for ministry opportunities. All of these trials have taken their toll in the midst of the fire yet they leave us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally stronger. Now in the midst, boy, do we feel weak! It is not until looking back and realizing the way we used to see life or respond to situations did we come to realize that our trials are what broke us and allowed us to come back stronger. This quote that our pastor referred to the other day has proven to be very true in our lives. A.W. Tozer said, "It's doubtful that God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply." While that may not seem like a nice picture, I believe God knows that until we experience some of the wounds that He will allow, we will never be all that He created us to be and as a result, we will never be able to see and be blessed by all He has in store for us!

I am continually being reminded that Christ is able to relate to everyone because He experienced every kind of pain imaginable and every kind of miracle! So for today, know that whatever trial you are going through, God is bigger and stronger, you just have to lean on Him. I can tell you that I have had more than my fair share of days when I wake up and have fear of the unknown and sometimes I give in to the spiritual warfare that is taking place. There have been some days where putting one foot in front of the other seems like an accomplishment. I think we all have been there. We just need to be honest with one another and allow us to encourage each other as the body of Christ is supposed to do. Honestly, when I saw the laundry and then our added issue of the toilet overflowing, I just wanted to get back in bed and ignore it. This situation in and of itself is not a big deal, but when you take all that happened leading up to it with the physical exhaustion from the week, it seemed overwhelming. However, what I have found is that when I push through it and just start making an effort, then the mountain seems to fade away. In my case, after doing several loads of laundry with not even the appearance that progress had been made (which was discouraging); slowly the literal mountain of laundry didn't seem so much of a mountain. This analogy is so true in every situation. Whatever your mountain may be has to be overcome by taking little baby steps to climb it and when you look back at first, it may not even seem you have taken a step. However, you have to keep going (keep your eyes fixed on the ultimate prize as described in Philippians 3) and soon you will see the fruits of your perseverance and it will spur you on to keep climbing and before you know it there will be no mountain. Here is what I found just after continuing on and still finding the time to laugh and play....the mountain is gone.



Not only that but after a trying day on many levels, Peyton volunteered when he was being put to bed that he wanted to give Grant a hug. As they hugged, they both had such big smiles on their faces. Such sweetness! So....today I could focus on my mountain and the annoying pitfalls of the day or choose to focus on the sweet moment Vince and I had over hot chocolate, Grant offering to help me with the laundry, Peyton initiating giving Grant a hug before bed, Peyton running in from church to climb up and kiss Landon on the forehead, and Landon's big smile despite still being sick. To me, the choice became easy when I was able to focus on the small things that were going right. I'm glad I made the choice to not climb back in bed but face the issues and at the end of the day my problem didn't seem so big and the day ended on some very sweet notes with our family.





I just have to find the strength within myself that God has given me to not run away but face my fear or problem and then before I know it, there is no longer a problem or at least it seems manageable. It usually all boils down to a choice. Will we choose joy and be victorious or will we give in and choose to be a victim?