I still remember the shock of seeing the positive pregnancy test. Then, I can recall getting the phone call the next day with my blood results to tell me that it appeared that I was 6 weeks along but that I would need to begin taking a hormone pill because one of my levels was very low. Then, Vince and I went in the day after that phone call to see the doctor and have an ultrasound and I was so surprised to actually see a heartbeat and then minutes later having my bubble burst as we were told to prepare ourselves for a miscarriage because my hormone levels were so low and the heartbeat was very weak. The doctor tried to be comforting by reassuring me that if this did happen, God was working it out now so that we wouldn't be in a situation where we were heartbroken because our baby was born with a condition where we would lose him or her shortly after birth. Apparently, the way my numbers looked in conjunction with his heart rate, there was no medical way for a pregnancy to be able to continue in a healthy way.
I remember the emotional roller coaster that started as we went into the weekend wondering if I would miscarry or if God had other plans. I remember praying for God's will because we didn't know what He was up to as I was still processing the shock of even being pregnant much less trying to sort through the fact that we may be losing this baby. I couldn't understand how I would get pregnant when we were definitely preventing a pregnancy, then only to lose the baby. I had so many emotions because not only was I concerned that things didn't look promising, I also was worried because I had a series of spinal x-rays when I would have been about 4 weeks pregnant with him. Again, everything pointed to the fact that I was definitely NOT pregnant so I never even gave that x-ray a second thought at the time. Because of the kind of x-rays they were, they were not able to shield me so I was very worried about the radiation that he would have received. I remember researching on the internet trying to give myself some kind of peace or reassurance, only to be given more reasons to worry. Finally, I decided to stop looking at the internet and just block out everything as I prayed for God's will. I still remember the overwhelming calm I experienced until the following week when I went in for another ultrasound. I had been prepared for the fact that we may not see a heartbeat at that ultrasound. In my heart of hearts, I really felt like God wanted me to see that He can defy all of medicine and the best things in life are sometimes the things we don't plan because if you know me well, I like things planned and organized. I really think that sometimes God likes to shake things up a bit to keep me mindful of this fact and help me learn to enjoy more of the unexpected things in life. While Vince and I were both nervous during the ultrasound there was also a sense of peace as well. Sure enough at that ultrasound, there was a strong heartbeat and not only that, we would find out shortly thereafter that my hormone levels had risen significantly and were now well within normal limits. When Vince and I went into my OB's office once the ultrasound was complete, he came in, sat down at his desk so excited and said to us, "I don't know what to say except this is truly a modern day miracle! Looks like we'll be delivering a baby just after the New Year."
Then, when I was 24 weeks pregnant, I began to have cramping and went to the doctor. He sent me over to labor and delivery at the hospital to be monitored because it appeared that I was in pre-term labor based on my exam and the monitors were showing I was having contractions. I remember being told that if he was born, he would have a 50/50 chance of survival. We were thrown off by all of this because I knew that God had a plan for this baby and I couldn't imagine getting out of the woods like we did in the first trimester only to be in another dangerous place. We never found out what caused the early contractions but he came into the world full term weighing a big 8 lbs. 10 oz. Because everything else along this journey was a surprise, I wanted to be surprised with the gender of the baby and I still remember Vince's words in the OR, "We have another little boy," as he held back the tears. I was so excited to finally meet our miracle baby!
I can't imagine our family or lives without him. Anyone that knows him, knows what a sweet and pure heart Peyton has. He is all boy and tough as nails but he also has such a sweet and truly nurturing side to him. I remember not feeling well one day and he came up and just started rubbing my back. He has so much joy and he gets so excited and happy about the simplest things in life. He also has such a grateful heart! He has never been a child that asks for toys. In fact, I had to keep asking him what he wanted for Christmas and he only came up with one idea. When he gets a gift no matter how small or big, you would think you gave him the world. I don't think I will ever forget the way his face lights up when he gets a gift and without hesitation, he always gives an enthusiastic "thank you!"
He also has such a fun sense of humor. He always keeps us entertained! Peyton is such a sweet little and big brother. He truly loves Grant and Landon and he is always wanting to play with them. He says that Grant is his best friend and he thinks that Landon is his baby too. He is always making sure Landon is okay and initiates playing with him. He just has a special and unique heart. My heart is so full of joy when I'm around Peyton because he is just so full of life.
While I still like structure and organization, God has definitely shown me that when He is in control and life doesn't go according to our plans, we can experience some of God's best blessings, and Peyton's life is just one big testimony to that. I know God has great things in store for Peyton and we are just thankful that he chose us to be his parents and get to play a role in his life!
Peyton sporting his "bed head" after his nap and covering his eyes so Grant can surprise him with the card he made him while he was sleeping.
It was such a sweet moment. Peyton was truly so excited with his card and that sweet voice as he told Grant, "thank you." just melts me.
If you know Peyton well, you know he loves balloons. Give him balloons and you've got an elated child!
Peyton kissing Landon's hand.
We thank God for the blessing of Peyton. He is such a sweet, kind, and gentle little boy, while being all boy. We love him so much.
ReplyDeleteNana Carol and Papa Dave